MAXED OUT!

I'm over 18 and I vote by God! Of course that doesn't mean a thing when those in power just circumvent the voting process by spending my hard earned tax money how they want instead of how I want. THEN they have the audacity to say our schools are under funded or they’re running short on another project (they’re sure the working people would approve of) like better roads.

Such is the classic case for our nationally recognized (by those with more money than brains) mass transit system MAX. At approximately $15,000.00 an inch for the west side Light Rail project, it boggles the mind, but we’ve been reassured that this is the way to go. It must be! I mean, my Government knows how stupid I am. I apparently don’t have the insight to see that initially spending that kind of money to build something most seemingly intelligent people oppose and then have it cost about 170% more to ride per person than they collect. Whew! There is some book keeping that is beyond my scope.

But let’s not dwell on the cost, let’s focus for a moment on the utility! When things suck like let’s just say bad weather. You know in your hearts and minds that when the weather is bad enough that you shouldn’t drive, MAX is there to take you to work or school, shopping or a show right? Oops – sorry.

No, that doesn’t work out too well either. It seems at a time when ridership should be up to the point where we only wish it was 24/7, you put a little ice on those electrical lines and presto MAX is out of business causing an even greater hardship.

MAX is such an awful idea that words escape me. Sadly, it is but one such project that seems to get ‘passed’ the voters instead of passed BY the voters.

I tried to explain my position to an occasional MAX rider the other day. He told me I had it all wrong. We didn’t cover all of the cost for MAX, the Federal Government picked up the Lion’s share! What the hell was I thinking? Oh, I know, I was thinking I pay FEDERAL TAXES too!

Wise Up Republicans!

Republicans should back off and let men marry men, women marry women, and totally legalize abortion.

In three generations, there will be no Democrats.

Damn! I love it when a plan comes together!

NEW ATOMIC ELEMENT DISCOVERED!

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named - Governmentium. Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant Neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an Element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.